Humor

Where To Buy Rash Cream

"Is anyone else dreading the day that your Google searches are linked to Facebook? Ralph just Googled “Where to buy rash cream.” ...

Ice Cream Truck

"When I was a child, my father convinced me that the ice cream truck only played music when it was sold out." ...

Five Songs Released Every Year

"After a 16.5 hour road trip, 6 states and over a dozen radio stations, I have come to the conclusion that only five songs are released every year." ...

Not The Best Of Days

"Even when it’s not the best of days, you can always tell yourself, hey, at least I’m not the guy who sank a $570 million ship." ...

See Things More Clearly

"I think in the year 2020 people are going to start seeing things more clearly." ...

Drinking Soda

"I’m pretty sure just about every kid, while drinking a bottle of soda, has poured a little bit into the cap and drank it like a shot." ...

Superhuman Strength

"The superhuman strength I acquire trying to avoid a second trip to bring in groceries is astonishing." ...

Hitting The Snooze Button

"Hitting the snooze button is basically starting out your day with a nap." ...

Poison

"If a poison is out of date, is it more poisonous or less poisonous?" ...

I Miss The Days

"I miss the days when I would go to the doctor’s office and they would ask what’s wrong and I could just turn to my mother and she’d explain." ...