Making A Sick Face
“When faking sick to leave work early, I find it necessary to make a sick face until I’m at least a few miles from the office, just in case someone is following me and watching me.”
Read more“When faking sick to leave work early, I find it necessary to make a sick face until I’m at least a few miles from the office, just in case someone is following me and watching me.”
Read moreToday: tripped over the rug, cut by a knife, hand slammed in the door, whacked in the face by the cabinet door. I’m pretty sure my home had a meeting last night and decided I’ve gotta go.”
Read more“I’m 33 and I still hop on the back of the shopping cart and ride it downhill whenever I get the chance.”
Read more“Don’t lie; when you walk up to a “Ten Items Or Less” aisle, you count the items in every shopper’s cart to be sure they’re following the rules.”
Read more“I would be far thinner if I didn’t have tastebuds.”
Read more“Will I ever reach a point in my life when I won’t need to recite the whole alphabet in my head while alphabetizing?”
Read more“Someone should inform the History Channel that Pawn Stars, Swamp People, Ice Road Truckers and UFO Hunters are NOT history.”
Read more“I have come to the conclusion that dryer lint is the cremated remains of all my missing socks.”
Read more“Have you ever looked at a person and thought, ‘Yeah, you have someone locked in your basement.’ “
Read more“Is anyone else dreading the day that your Google searches are linked to Facebook? Ralph just Googled “Where to buy rash cream.”
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