Humor

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A guy asked me for change. He said, “Can I get a quarter? I’m just trying to get my kids back.” I said, “Are they trapped in a vending machine? ...

“Having kids is like having a bowling alley installed in your brain." - Martin Mull ...

"Why do you only hear bad news about lsd? It’s always the same story about some idiot who thought he could fly, so he jumped out a fifty-story window. Why don’t we ever hear this news story? 'Today a young ...

"Everybody wants to save the earth. Nobody wants to help Mom do the dishes." - P.J. O'Rourke ...

"Politics is just show business for ugly people." - Jay Leno ...

"Trying to be popular in high school is like trying to be mayor of a city that won't exist in four years." - Jenny Holzer ...